We have all had those moments as parents when our child’s emotions or actions go haywire, and we wish we knew how to soothe them.
What if I told you that practicing the art of distraction can solve many of your problems, and it works at any age just in different forms.
One of the most common meltdown moments happens when a child has a bump or a fall. Of course, if it’s a serious injury you need to deal with it accordingly, but most of the time it’s more the surprise of impact than anything else. My mom was a master distractor. I saw her in action when my oldest was a toddler. Jess would fall and look at us. My mom would whisper, “Don’t react.” Jess would stand back up as if nothing happened. My mom explained that toddlers are going to mirror what we do including how we react to accidents. When a bump was slightly more painful, my mom would scold whatever caused the mishap. Jess tripped over a root and went down hard. She had that look on her face that said in three seconds a meltdown would occur. My mom walked over, bent down, slapped the root, and said, “Bad root!” Jess was so surprised that she forgot about crying. I adopted the habit and avoided many moments of tears.
Another distraction tactic is to create a diversion. It could be offering a treat, or suggesting another activity, but you have to make the suggestion with energy and conviction. My grandson loves popsicles, so yesterday when he started crying, I said, “Hey, want to have a popsicle? C’mon!” It always amazes me how quickly children forget they are distressed when there is an alternative.
Remember that 90% of meltdowns are due to fatigue or hunger, so make sure your little ones are rested, and always have snacks ready.
Distraction still works when children are older. When your child is upset you should listen fully, but if it isn’t something you can help with, change the subject, but keep the topic to your child. Watch how quickly the devastating problem is forgotten.
Being a parent means you have to have the life skills necessary for almost every job out there. Your mind game techniques will serve you well. Focus on being a good distractor!
Wonderful insights! Thank you for sharing.
I agree with most of the suggestions re distraction, but need to add a caution. Be careful not to inadvertently pair a reward (e.g, the popsicle) with a tantrum, crying, etc. Without intending it, the sequence and contingency can be learned and actually increase the behavior, because the behavior was positively reinforced. My other concern is keeping children from crying. It is probably better to let them shed a tear or two and then distract them, so they feel free to express emotion.,, just don't make a big deal about it. The last thing you want to do is have the child suppress his/her feelings, especially physically. Think about what it takes to suppress a cry--holding one's breath, tightenin…