the most beautiful blog ever…
My wonderful daughter. Today is your birthday.
I still remember the moments of your birth like it was
yesterday. The pain from natural childbirth was
forgotten the moment you were placed on my tummy
and i looked into your eyes.
You were so alert. Not crying, just looking around
like you were sizing up the world. I touched your
hand and you wound your finger around mine.
It was so wonderful to meet you.
You were healthy. 8 pounds 7 ounces. 21 inches
long. I started breastfeeding you and you took to it
like a pro. I was like a new mommy instead of a seasoned
mom of three. I unwrapped you like a present and studied
you from head to toe. Thatwas when i noticed you had
two pale white marks on your lower back.
What are those? I asked the Dr.
He told me birthmarks and although i had an
unsettling feeling, it passed and i took you home
to meet your family.
You fell into a routine of eating, sleeping and being
cuddled. You thrived and i loved watching you learn
to hold your head up.
(i confess, you looked like a bobble head doll) when
you did that.:)
You seemed to be learning so fast. i was amazed that
you could roll over at 3 months.
Our life was ordinary. I miss ordinary.
At 6 months you had your first seizure and was
diagnosed with Tuberous Sclerosis.
My heart broke for you.
Over the next several years i have witnessed
so many miracles. You continue to defy odds
and your courage is so admirable.
You have stood at the precipice and
stared death it in the eye.
“God ain’t done with me yet!”
Through it all i have been at your side.
I do not falter, nor do i waver.
I am you and you are me.
You are mentally two but i see much more
in the gleam of your eye. You continue to learn
but for now, I do not mind feeding you, bathing
you, dressing you.
I do not place expectations on you.
I do these things out of love.
You are love Dac.
It radiates from you in your smile and
in your actions.
i wish you did not have to endure all that
comes with TS. I hate that you have seizures
and autism. You do not deserve that.
I look back on your life through the lens of
a mental camera.
Sitting up unsupported (11 months)
Your first steps (19 months)
Your first real words (about 25 words now
you started talking at 13 years old)
becoming partially potty trained (24 years)
These developmental milestones formulating
while you have endured thousands of seizures,
heart failure, Autism, 5 brain surgeries…
My miracle. My precious, precious miracle.
You have no clue that your life was supposed
to be more than trips to McDonald’s, baby toys,
magazines, a swing, a swiffer mop(lol long story)
a trampoline.
Surgeries, Meds, Therapies, Needles, Dr appts,
and being poked and prodded.
If you were vocal would you tell me you hate the latter?
I know you would. i see it in your eyes and it hurts when
i have to put you through all that.
You trust me.
Today is your birthday Dac.
I will take you for an outing. There will be balloons
and cake, smiles and laughter. A day that celebrates
the wonderful person you are.
It’s your day.
I will take your picture and i will revisit memories.
Thankful for the 26 years i have had the priviledge
of being your mom.
Mommy loves you Dac. Happy Birthday.
Commentaires