Happy 26th Birthday Dac

the most beautiful blog ever…

My wonderful daughter. Today is your birthday.

I still remember the moments of your birth like it was

yesterday. The pain from natural childbirth was

forgotten the moment you were placed on my tummy

and i looked into your eyes.

You were so alert. Not crying, just looking around

like you were sizing up the world. I touched your

hand and you wound your finger around mine.

It was so wonderful to meet you.

You were healthy. 8 pounds 7 ounces. 21 inches

long. I started breastfeeding you and you took to it

like a pro. I was like a new mommy instead of a seasoned

mom of three. I unwrapped you like a present and studied

you from head to toe. Thatwas when i noticed you had

two pale white marks on your lower back.

What are those? I asked the Dr.

He told me birthmarks and although i had an

unsettling feeling, it passed and i took you home

to meet your family.

You fell into a routine of eating, sleeping and being

cuddled. You thrived and i loved watching you learn

to hold your head up.

(i confess, you looked like a bobble head doll) when

you did that.:)

You seemed to be learning so fast. i was amazed that

you could roll over at 3 months.

Our life was ordinary. I miss ordinary.

At 6 months you had your first seizure and was

diagnosed with Tuberous Sclerosis.

My heart broke for you.

Over the next several years i have witnessed

so many miracles. You continue to defy odds

and your courage is so admirable.

You have stood at the precipice and

stared death it in the eye.

“God ain’t done with me yet!”

Through it all i have been at your side.

I do not falter, nor do i waver.

I am you and you are me.

You are mentally two but i see much more

in the gleam of your eye. You continue to learn

but for now, I do not mind feeding you, bathing

you, dressing you.

I do not place expectations on you.

I do these things out of love.

You are love Dac.

It radiates from you in your smile and

in your actions.

i wish you did not have to endure all that

comes with TS. I hate that you have seizures

and autism. You do not deserve that.

I look back on your life through the lens of

a mental camera.

Sitting up unsupported (11 months)

Your first steps (19 months)

Your first real words (about 25 words now

you started talking at 13 years old)

becoming partially potty trained (24 years)

These developmental milestones formulating

while you have endured thousands of seizures,

heart failure, Autism, 5 brain surgeries…

My miracle. My precious, precious miracle.

You have no clue that your life was supposed

to be more than trips to McDonald’s, baby toys,

magazines, a swing, a swiffer mop(lol long story)

a trampoline.

Surgeries, Meds, Therapies, Needles, Dr appts,

and being poked and prodded.

If you were vocal would you tell me you hate the latter?

I know you would. i see it in your eyes and it hurts when

i have to put you through all that.

You trust me.

Today is your birthday Dac.

I will take you for an outing. There will be balloons

and cake, smiles and laughter. A day that celebrates

the wonderful person you are.

It’s your day.

I will take your picture and i will revisit memories.

Thankful for the 26 years i have had the priviledge

of being your mom.

Mommy loves you Dac. Happy Birthday.