You have to learn certain things in life the hard way through experiences, but I often take more than one messy interaction before I know the lessons. There are several important life lessons I wish I had learned sooner.
Give grace and expect it as well.
We all have moments when life overwhelms us, and we don’t handle things as well as we wish we could. In those moments, we need to give each other grace and try to understand what the other person is going through. I had a sign in my classroom that said everyone is carrying a burden of some type, be kind.
Have you ever had that happen when the person you think has the picture-perfect life tells you about something awful she is dealing with? What if you judge someone harshly only to find out there is a legitimate reason for the way he is acting? Give grace first, and ask questions later.
You also have the right to expect grace for yourself in certain circumstances. If you are the sounding board for a friend who always seems to be carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, you are also allowed to have a bad day. If grace doesn’t go both ways, it’s time for a conversation.
Kindness is a superpower.
I have seen kindness do some incredible things. Do you know that all you need to do is smile at someone to let her know she is valued? Have you ever had a day when everyone has been unpleasant, but a stranger smiles at you? That is a simple act of kindness. Complimenting someone, helping with a task, or paying for a coffee are all ways to show someone he is not alone, and people care. Once you do something nice for someone it’s addictive and you want to do more and more.
Hold on to the good people and let go of the toxic.
I am a people pleaser, and although I’m improving when it comes to being nice when being disrespected or tolerating other toxic behavior, I have held on to some toxic relationships way too long. I finally realized how much more important quality is to quantity when it comes to friendships. If you have trouble distinguishing between toxic and non-toxic here are some signs of a toxic person.
· Gossips about you.
· Treats you as the villain and he is the victim
· Ignores you.
· Judges you.
· Is disrespectful/says hurtful things
· He is self-absorbed
A good person is excited for your success instead of jealous, she enjoys being with you, and she is your cheerleader. The give and take in the relationship is balanced.
The prettier grass on the other side of the fence is fake.
I laughed when a friend called Facebook Fakebook, but there are people on social media who want you to think they live a perfect life, but behind all that perfect is a whole lot of mess. Before you start to feel jealous about what a person has, be grateful for what you don’t have that they are hiding from you. Don’t ever compare yourself with someone else because they might wish they could be as good as you at something. Be grateful for your good, work on your messy pile, and be transparent about it. Some will judge you but think about how many people you could help when they realize they are not alone.
There are quite a few other things I have learned the hard way, but I will save that for another article.
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